Back to the beginning 

  You do have to start somewhere. So I'm starting back at the beginning. I wear a size uncomfortable in my clothes. I weigh unhealthy and pre-diabetic  pounds. My A1C is 6.5 and I am always tired,  grumpy and frustrated. I have to change. I want to be happier. I know I can do it because I did it before but this time seems harder.
      In 2012 I lost 50 lbs and dropped my A1C level form 5.7 back to 5.2. I felt good, healthy and on the right track. Then I tried to see if I could go back to some of my old bad habits, just a little.I put 10 back on then 20, then I had my last baby and while I maintained great health and weight gain ( only 18 lbs for the pregnancy) I  started to let post baby health slip. Then the next year we decided to get our house in order. Jason and I went back to working out regularly and things were moving forward. He received an unexpected phone interview that turned into a job which meant a move. The new job and move have been great but I lost some of my best health supporters. In addition to this we home school the children and I have an ailing mother who had a very rough last year with breaking both her hips now and is in a nursing home. All these things have taken the wind out of my sails and I seem to eat (and eat junk at that) to cope. So what should I do? Well it's time to start again.

                                                This was me Nov 2011 and Nov 2012. 

                                                         This is me now.

I love my family. I don't mind the gray hair (those are Not highlights). I do want to fell better and look better and get the boys into a healthy nutritious lifestyle for life. This is my job I am the mom.  I want to be here for a long time. My mom didn't take care of her health when she was first diagnosed with Diabetes, lack of education as well as lack of understanding. Too many times we look to the medical field as if they are the only ones who can tell us what to do or worse as if they are supposed to know EVERYTHING. Even when she did get better information she still lacked the personal drive to do what is was best for her health. I get it! I am in the midst of this struggle right now. I know what I need to do but lack the desire to get going. As much as I love my mom I feel like this is here last year here with us. she just turned 70 and has gone through so many health crises in the last 5 year I am amazed she is still with us at all. 

                                                                Mom age 64 before 1st stroke                                                    

                                                              Mom age 69 before hip breaks                                                  

                      Mom after both hip breaks in a wheel chair not likely to walk on her own again.

With all the love in my heart I hope to spare my children from having to care for me like this. I hope to find the strength to go forward and make the lifelong changed that are needed. There is a reason that I began this post with a lack of physical numbers. My health journey is about living a healthy life not just making the scale move to a number that I think represents a healthy happy me.